


In the Heart of the Desert

by quietpastelcolours



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage AU, F/M, Neither of them are particularly impressed by this, haughty Zelda and arrogant Ganondorf, sandstorms, slow burn love story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:36:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6769021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietpastelcolours/pseuds/quietpastelcolours
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ganondorf Dragmire was living a carefree life as Prince of the Gerudo and heir to their throne, until peace talks between the Twinrova and King Daltus of Hyrule saw Princess Zelda abruptly flung at him, their union sure to cement peace between the two lands. When at first both parties detest both each other and the idea of marriage, it seems nothing can overcome such intense dislike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Credits must go to gerudoshikyapril.tumblr.com, whose Gerudo language lets me give Ganondorf and his people their native tongue!

Ganondorf Dragmire had been having a good day. He’d spent the morning completing his lessons, and had made such good time his tutor had let him go early, whereupon he’d tracked down Nabooru and trained with her for a goodly while, the sparring match only ending once he’d managed to knock her on her ass. Cheered by this victory (and teasing Nabs relentlessly), Ganondorf had been in the middle of putting away their staffs when a guard had come with a message from the Twinrova.

He’d then left Nabooru to finish tidying up as he went immediately to what was technically a throne room but was referred to as the summit, as it was where the Gerudo held their meetings with their Queen to discuss amendments to different rulings, sorted out disputes, and held general gatherings. The Queen in question was actually two – the witches Koume and Kotake, who took the joint name of the Twinrova. They were his adoptive mothers, overseeing his childhood since his real mother had died but two days after his birth from complications, and would rule in his stead until they deemed him of age to take the throne as King. He was twenty two now, so hopefully they'd make that decision soon.

Ganondorf wandered towards the summit at a casual place, for as the tone of the message had not seemed urgent, he deemed it alright to go via the food market, where he snagged an apple from a brightly coloured vendor – apples did not grow in the desert, which meant these were stolen goods – he handed the woman a rupee and wove through the tightly packed market towards his destination.

Pushing aside the weighted curtain that served as a door, Ganondorf was not looking at the occupants of the room until he heard his mothers’ voice.

“Nice of you to join us, Ganon.” The Twinrova drawled, in the voice he recognised as belonging to their fused form. That confused him – why would they be the literal Twinrova now? Brows drawing together as he turned his head to see the other occupants of the room, his jaw promptly dropped.

Zelda’s lip curled slightly unbidden as she regarded the Gerudo Prince who’d just materialised. He looked completely befuddled, and she took the deep silence as he stared at them to stare at him. Ganondorf Dragmire was exactly as enormous as the stories she’d heard painted him, she recognised with a sigh – scanning his form, she realised that standing beside him, she’d barely reach his chest.

He was _huge_.

It was slightly unnerving to realise that he wasn’t _just_ tall – he was big, well built and very muscular – why, he looked like he could shatter someone’s skull with a mere twist of his fingers. Zelda swallowed hard as she continued her assessment of him. His skin, unlike the bronze tone of the other Gerudo, instead held the same deep greenish tinge of the Twinrova. Her training in the magical arts told her that he too was very skilled – except rather than having specialised in light as she had, Prince Ganondorf had obviously taken a darker path.

Perhaps the most unusual thing about him was his hair – it sprouted from his head in unruly scarlet waves that came to rest at his _waist_. Zelda had never seen anything like it – no man of her acquaintance had hair past his shoulders, and such long hair was always pulled back into a queue. The prince ran his hand through this very same wild hair at that moment, the movement drawing her eye to the admittedly very impressive swell of his musculature. He wore no shirt at all, only loose trousers tucked into knee length boots, with an odd kind of garment she could only name a loincloth, draped round his hips and falling to just above his knees, richly embroidered with Gerudo symbols. These symbols were repeated on woven vambraces and armlets, and his only other ornamentation was a belt of interlocking circles of gold, and a gold and ruby headpiece situated on his forehead.

Zelda frowned – he looked like a wild man, and she dreaded the upcoming event; that is, if her father agreed. She looked across to her father King Daltus at that moment, noticed the slight derision on his face and smiled – papa disapproved of the prince’s attire as much as she did.

“Allow us to introduce our son, Ganondorf Dragmire, future King of the Gerudo.” The Twinrova intoned, gesturing at the prince in the same moment.

If she found Prince Ganondorf’s attire to be odd, Zelda had to concede that the Twinrova themselves were like nothing she’d ever even dreamed of. Tall and very muscular for a woman, the Twinrova had skin similar in tone to their son, and certainly showed it off. The Queen of the Gerudo wore a very small bodice cut low to reveal a scandalous amount of their décolleté, and they wore _trousers_. Admittedly, the other Gerudo all wore trousers and small tops as well, but Zelda still wasn’t used to any woman wearing such things, let alone a Queen.

Her father nodded at the introduction, and inclined his head. “Greetings, Prince Ganondorf. I am Daltus, King of Hyrule.” He turned to face her, and Zelda wiped her face clean of all emotion save for a gracious smile as papa introduced her. “My daughter, Princess Zelda.”

Prince Ganondorf narrowed his eyes, and Zelda tried not to frown back at him as his intense golden gaze remained glued to hers. The Twinrova said something in what she presumed was Gerudo, and then the prince strode forwards until he stood before her, close enough she had to crane her neck to meet his eyes.

“Princess.” He said as he inclined his head, his voice deep, accented and strangely melodic. “Welcome to _Va Gérudo Kast_.”

Zelda, determined to show her manners to the best of their ability before such vulgarity (he hadn’t even _attempted_ to kiss her hand!), curtsied deeply, her knees almost touching the ground before she came back up. “Your Highness.” She replied as sweetly as she could. “I am honoured to be here.”

He didn’t even acknowledge that, only turned back towards the Twinrova with a raised brow.

The Twinrova exchanged a glance with her father, then motioned to the door. “Perhaps you’d be so good as to show the Princess around, Ganon.” They said in overly sugared tones. Zelda barely avoided frowning at the look of derision on his face as her father nodded enthusiastically.

“A wonderful idea.” He said warmly. “Yes, Zelda, do accompany the prince.”

Zelda nodded. “Of course, Papa. I would be _delighted.”_ She flashed the prince a sickly sweet smile. “Shall we?”

He looked unimpressed, but nodded. “This way.”

She left her father and the Twinrova in the throne room and followed the prince outside – he didn’t even hold the curtain open for her, rude creature that he was. Once outside, Zelda blinked in the harsh sunlight and waited for one of her two ladies in waiting to extend her parasol and hand it to her – only once her fair skin was sufficiently covered did she fall into step beside the impatient prince.

“So.” He began. “Princess. How do you like the _kast_ so far?”

She raised a delicate brow. “ _Kast_?”

“Valley.” He elaborated, his deep voice sounding irritated. Despite herself, she rather liked his accent – it wasn’t thick enough to be incomprehensible, but gave his words a rather melodic lilt and burr she found quite pleasant.

“I like it very much.” She lied through her teeth. In reality, she detested this place already. It was hot and dusty and dry, and no one here possessed any sort of civility or decorum. She shuddered at the idea of spending any length of time in this miserable dump. “Though I believe the heat may take some getting used to.”

That garnered her first smile out of him, though to her dismay, it revealed he had pointed fangs for canines, on both top and bottom rows of teeth.

The prince gestured to what seemed like a market square up ahead, where Zelda could hear strains of some foreign style of music. She found herself stared at by most Gerudo she passed, and straightened as much as physically possible in response.

“I’m not surprised you find the heat overwhelming, Princess.” He said with a grin. “Considering your attire.”

Zelda’s brows shot up. “ _My_ attire?”

“Are you wearing a corset?”

A _cor_ -” Zelda stopped herself mid-word and glared at him. “Did no one ever tell you of the _utter_ impudence that comes of commenting on a ladies’ underclothes to her face?”

The prince was the one to raise a brow then. “Is it so very rude in Hyrule? I must beg your pardon, Princess. I was unaware.”

Zelda twisted her mouth, but nodded as graciously as she could. Of course, these people would not be aware of such incivilities, belonging as they did to another culture entirely. She must try to remember that his words stemmed from accident rather than intentional crudity. “There is nothing to pardon.” She said softly. “Rather, I must ask you to pardon me; I’m afraid I rather forgot you had no reason to know of Hylian social conduct.”

Ganondorf nodded to himself, annoyed at her for taking offense at something so little. “Understandable. However, my mention of your – undergarments was only to prove my point; there’s a reason my sisters wear trousers. I’d wager you’re feeling quite warm in that long gown.”

Actually… she looked remarkably composed despite the heat. He snuck the princess a speculative glance and noted her calm exterior, though her features were flushed pink with heat. Her ladies in waiting were another story as they trailed along behind their princess – they were red faced and sweaty, their hair stuck to their foreheads even with shielding parasols.

Princess Zelda’s mouth turned down slightly at his words. “I am… warm, yes.” She said slowly. “But nothing it’s unmanageable.”

Ganondorf grinned to himself. “You’ve only been here a day. I wouldn’t be quite so decided yet, if I were you.”

She wrinkled her nose at that.

“May I ask you something, your Highness?” She inquired.

“Call me Ganondorf. No one calls me ‘your Highness’ here. And, you may.”

The Princess looked scandalised. “Not call you by your title? I could never.”

“I insist.” Ganondorf said gleefully, relishing the chance to annoy her. Princess Zelda was proving to be a stuffy, stuck up sort of girl, and he liked the fact it was so easy to rile her up.

She narrowed light blue eyes at him and flicked her long hair over her shoulder, drawing his gaze. Her hair was like nothing he’d ever seen before – it was very long, reaching past her hips, and though the length alone was nothing special, it was a rich golden colour that caught the sun with each movement, making her glimmer. Not only that – Princess Zelda’s hair was curly, which was quite an unusual sight to when compared to the stick straight strands of the Gerudo. Her hair hung in elaborate and neat ringlets down her back, half down and half up with some curls piled softly atop her head, threaded with a sky blue ribbon that matched both her eyes and her gown. She presented, in short, a very pretty picture, but to him, her appearance merely seemed impractical.

“Very well, _Ganondorf_.” Zelda enunciated distastefully. “I merely wished to ask why you were so late this morning. Perhaps there was some situation which called your attention to it?”

Ganondorf frowned. Late? Had he really been so very late? Well, it would have been handy if he’d known she was coming. “I apologise for my tardiness, Princess. I can offer no further excuse than that I was training, and I had to walk from the training pit once I got the message of your arrival.”

Zelda nodded. “I see.”

Ganondorf seized the moment to rid himself of some confusion. “May I ask what you are doing here, Princess?”

She froze.

Not noticing this at first, Ganondorf kept walking until he realised she wasn’t keeping pace and turned to find the princess staring at him in horror.

“Princess?”

“What do you mean, _why_ am I here? Do you mean to say you don’t _know?”_

He instantly burned with suspicion. “Don’t know what? I had no idea you were coming here. The message I received did not even mention you or your father – it was merely a summons from the Twinrova. Why? For what reason are you here?”

To his general befuddlement, Zelda flushed a deep, embarrassed crimson and looked at her toes. “You – you don’t _know_.” She whispered, sounding for the first time very uncertain.

“Know _what?”_ Snapped Ganondorf, feeling irritated at her evasiveness.

Zelda lifted her chin, still looking very embarrassed. “My – my father has brought me here because he and the Twinrova have been discussing… an arranged marriage.” Her voice was very small at the end of that sentence.

Ganondorf stared at her for a very long moment. “…Marriage?” He croaked.

Zelda was still very red though she gazed steadily at him, seemingly having collected her emotions once more.

“I believe so.” She said quietly. “At least… that’s what Papa told me. Why didn’t the Twinrova tell you?”

“I don’t know.” He said shortly. “But I intend to find out. This way.”

He led the princess towards the main square, where vendors set up their stalls. Perhaps she might be interested in purchasing something. He used the silence to think hard about what she had just revealed. His mothers wanted him to marry the _Princess of Hyrule?_ What was this? Some kind of practical joke? His money was on Nabooru. It was just like her to go too far in pursuit of her pranks.

Zelda avoided talking further to the prince as he led her towards some sort of market place, deeply confused that he was not aware of their betrothal. Why would the Twinrova have not have told him? Even if they had been unwilling to tell Ganondorf of the arranged marriage currently in talks, why would they have kept her arrival from him? By all accounts it made no sense.

They’d reached the market place by now, and Zelda looked around in interest at the different stalls. There were many food stalls, but what caught her eye were the bundles and bundles of lavish silks. She spent some time perusing these interesting materials with her ladies in waiting while the prince chattered loudly in Gerudo to the nearby women. She ended up buying several lengths of silk, which her ladies in waiting neatly folded and hung over their arms. To her surprise, Ganondorf scoffed at this.

“What’s wrong?” She inquired sweetly. “Do you object to my purchasing things here?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, but are you that important you can’t carry them yourself?”

Zelda pursed her lips and flashed a glance at her ladies in waiting, wondering if they agreed with the prince. They’d certainly never said anything to her. “Of course not.” She replied tersely. “But they are employed to assist me. What’s the point of paying someone if you are just going to do their job for them?”

Ganondorf grinned widely at her, revealing pointed fangs. “You could do the obvious thing and do away with them all together.”

Her ladies were shuffling uncomfortably at the thought of their losing their places, and Zelda was determined to put and end to this absurd conversation. “A princess without ladies in waiting? It would be unheard of. Tradition demands that there are roles to be filled, whether or not _certain individuals_ might think them superfluous.”

Zelda put her nose in the air and stalked off, though she was secretly rather enjoying herself. It wasn’t often she came face to face with anyone who dared riposte with her.

Ganondorf followed, a half grin turning his lips. “Touché, my lady.” He said softly. “May I show you our shrine?”

This caught her attention. “Your shrine? I’d be honoured. I’ve heard of your Spirit Temple. I’d ask to visit there during my stay, if it isn’t blasphemous for foreigners to enter the grounds.”

This pleased him, for he gave her wide grin, and Zelda blinked. At times, Ganondorf was almost good looking, in very swarthy sort of way.

“I’ll speak to my mothers. Would the King be interested in going?”

Zelda furrowed her brow. “I think so. Papa has quite the interest in history.”

“I shall handle the arrangements, then.”

The tour took the better part of two hours, and by that time, Zelda was close to expiration, as were her ladies in waiting.

“I beg your pardon.” She said softly, swallowing hard through her dry throat. “I must have a drink soon.”

Concern flashed over the prince’s features. “But of course. My apologies, Princess, I’ve kept you out in the sun too long.”

He led her towards a nearby building, knocked on the doorframe and pushed open the curtain, this time holding it open for her to enter. The room, Zelda realised, was some sort of private residence, complete with a young woman stretched out asleep on what appeared to be a thin, flat pillow as long as a bed. She watched as Ganondorf walked over and dug his toes into the woman’s side, making her lurch upright and seize the prince around the ankle and yank hard enough that he overbalanced and crashed into the wall. After a muffled yet hasty conversation in Gerudo, the woman got to her feet, nodded in a friendly fashion at Zelda and her ladies, then headed into the next room.

“My sister, Nabooru.” He explained, running a hand through his hair. “She’s getting you some water now.”

Zelda raised a brow. “Your sister? I was not aware you had blood siblings.”

Ganondorf grinned crookedly. “You’ve done your homework, Princess. Nabs isn’t my blood sister, no, but we were born on the same day, in the same hour. Our culture demands such providence be rewarded with a close bond.”

She smiled. “That’s rather sweet. How fortunate you are then, to be an only child and yet have a sister. I should have always liked to have a sibling. I rather envy you for that.”

Ganondorf’s grin grew. “If you knew her you wouldn’t say that. Biggest pain in the neck that ever existed.”

Nabooru walked back into the room then, bearing a tray piled high with carved glasses. “ _Thank you_ for insulting me before the foreign Princess, Gan.” She snorted.

He merely shrugged as he swiped a drink from the tray. “It’s true though.”

Zelda accepted a drink with a smile and drank deeply – the water was cool and surprisingly enough, sweet. “What is this flavoured with?” She inquired. “It’s very nice.”

“There’s a particular _mewadala_ that grows in the desert.” Said Nabooru as she set down the tray and sipped her own drink. “If you steep the young blossoms, you end up with a syrup you can then add to water. It makes for a very refreshing drink.”

Zelda frowned at she tried out the foreign word. “ _Mew… mew-a-dala?”_

“It pretty much just means desert flower.” Ganondorf explained, and Zelda nodded then fell quiet, preferring to quench her thirst.

At that moment, a young child probably no older than three wandered in and tugged at Nabooru’s trousers, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

 _“Ash adili, fík?”_ She asked Nabooru, her tone tired.

 _“Cholkés, opríl ash, marilali sa mala.”_ Was her response. Zelda couldn't help but wonder what was being said. She watched as the Gerudo woman picked up the toddler and bounced her on her hip, before taking the child back into the other room, then turned to Ganondorf.

“Nabooru’s daughter?” Zelda inquired politely.

Ganondorf snorted with laughter. “Nab’s? By the Lady – no. That’s her sister’s girl. No, Nab’s is very picky – she won’t just choose any man when she decides to bear a child.”

Zelda blinked in shock. What was this attitude, where a woman could simply choose when she wished to bear children, then just went out and did it? From one perspective, she supposed it was rather liberating, but from the other, it was shocking indeed.

“I see.” She said quietly, to acknowledge that he had spoken.

Nabooru came back in again soon, the little girl toddling along behind her carrying a small cake like object.

“My niece, Illoru.” Nabooru said, nudging the child forwards. _“Yi, azhna!”_

The little girl waved from behind her mouthful of cake, then went and sat on the floor to continue munching.

Zelda affected a smile. “What a sweet child.” She knew that praise of small children always made their relations proud; she was proven right when Nabooru beamed.

“She is, isn’t she?”

Ganondorf, on the other hand, raised a brow. “You seem… discomforted, Princess.”

Zelda frowned. “Discomforted? Why on earth should I be discomforted? From other than this beastly heat, you mean?”

Rather than reply to her directly, the prince leaned down and said something in Gerudo to Illoru, whose face lit up as she dropped the remainder of her cake and ran forwards to hug Zelda around the kneecaps.

Startled, Zelda stumbled back a step. “Oh! What are you doing, child?”

Raising her face, Illoru started saying something in her native language, chubby fingers outstretched _. “Vihü! Vihü, nélk!”_

“What does she want?” Zelda almost cried, missing the very amused look on Ganondorf’s face.

“Pick her up.” Said Nabooru, sounding rather amused herself. “She wants you to hold her.”

Zelda just barely stopped herself from making a face. “Oh.” She hesitated for a moment, then leaned down and scooped up the child, trying to mirror the way Nabooru had balanced Illoru on her hip. The little girl clutched a hand in her hair, and Zelda tried not to show dismay as several of her perfect ringlets were crushed, and watched Illoru put her other hand in her mouth, sucking on her fingers.

Ganondorf chuckled slightly then, and Zelda narrowed her eyes at him as he spoke.

“See? You _are_ uncomfortable. Scared of children, Princess?”

Zelda glared at him. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not scared of children, I just… I’m not entirely sure what to do with her. This is the first time I’ve ever held a child.”

Ganondorf only very slowly raised a brow, but Nabooru gaped.

“Aren’t there any children in Hyrule, Princess?” She asked almost teasingly.

Furrowing her brow, Zelda eyed the child on her hip. “Of course there are. It’s just… I have acquaintances who have children, and so on, but they do not bring their sons and daughters to the castle, nor do the children leave the nursery when their parents are entertaining guests. I am an only child, and I’ve simply… never had reason to interact with children.”

 _This is ridiculous. Why am I defending myself against this? It’s perfectly reasonable that I shouldn’t have come in contact with children,_ Zelda thought to herself, scowling at the insolent pair.

Ganondorf smirked widely at the princess, who was holding Illoru as though she were fine glass that would shatter at the slightest touch. The look on her face! It was hilarious in every way.

“I can see you’ve no children of your own, Princess.” He said, eager to continue teasing her, and was surprised when Zelda’s head shot up, her suddenly ferocious gaze burning a hole in his head.

“No children of my own?” She asked, very precisely, and Ganondorf began to wonder if he’d said something wrong. “ _No children of my own?”_

“Yes, what-” He attempted to say, but Zelda interrupted him.

“You _dare_ imply I’d have engaged in intimacy outside of wedlock? How _dare_ – you – you _impossible_ -”

Her face was red and her eyes spat sparks, and before Ganondorf could formulate any kind of response she’d dumped Illoru on the floor and spun on her heel, and then Zelda stormed from the room, skirts flying. Her two ladies in waiting scurried out after her, and Ganondorf could only stare in shock as Nabooru quickly picked up the now crying Illoru and tried to soothe her tears.

“I think you fucked up, Gan.” Nabs said conversationally, and he nodded slowly.

“Yeah – I’d kind of gathered that.” He turned to face her and spread his hands on confusion. “What do I do?”

Nabooru made a noise that implied she thought him very stupid. “Go after her, of course! She’ll only tell her father and the Twinrova what you said, and _then_ won’t you be in shit!”

He raised a finger to object, thought the better of it, and lowered the finger. “Right.” Ganondorf raised a hand in farewell as he scooted out the door, scanning the street for the princess. He spotted her rounding the corner, trailed by her ladies, and scuttled after her.

“Princess!” He called, speeding up so he could fall into step beside her. “Princess, I-”

“Do _not_.” She hissed, rounding on him very suddenly. “You have done nothing but needle and _insult_ me since the moment we met, which considering it was scarcely two hours ago, that’s _quite_ an achievement on your part. I will go and find my father now. Rest assured, this union which you evidently find _so_ distasteful _will not take place_.”

His mouth dropped open but nothing came out. Zelda snapped open her fan and fluttered it furiously. “We have nothing more to say to each other.” She said icily. “Good day, your Highness.”

Ganondorf could only stand and stare as she marched off, flanked as ever by the silent ladies in waiting, the turned and took a shortcut back to the Twinrova – it was officially imperative he got his side of the story out before the princess blackened his name completely.

Skidding to a stop before the Twinrova’s study, he combed a hand through his hair, then straightened his belt and calmly knocked on the doorframe.

“ _Sha?”_ Came the Twinrova’s curious voice.

“ _Ha’as Sæ.”_ He replied, and then there came an impatient knocking sound.

“ _Zhav, Zhav!”_

Ganondorf pushed aside the curtain to reveal the Twinrova sitting at their desk, the Hylian King opposite as they paused their conversation to look at him.

“I have made a mistake.” He said immediately in Gerudo. The Twinrova sighed.

“What did you do?”

“I may or may not have made the princess hate me.”

They simply stared at him for a long moment, and then King Daltus spoke.

“Where is my daughter?” He asked, and Ganondorf awkwardly ran a hand through his hair.

“She’s… uh… she’s…”

“Ganondorf.” Said the Twinrova, a hint of warning in their tone. “Where’s the princess?”

“I’m… not exactly sure.” He raised his hands in defence as the King’s eyes bugged out. “She’s somewhere around! She’s just… mad.”

Daltus gave him suspicious look. “Why?”

Ganondorf sighed. “I might have unintentionally insulted her.”

“Ganondorf!” The Twinrova looked furious now. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“You speak as though I meant to! I was only trying to make conversation, and apparently Hylian women are offended by that kind of topic, and she – she’s mad at me now.” He trailed off into awkwardness as Daltus shook his head.

“I shall speak to Zelda.” The King said firmly. “If the slight was unintentional, I’m sure it shall all be ironed out soon. She doesn’t normally act this way… it must be the heat.”

“You think that if you wish, Majesty.” Said Ganondorf darkly, folding his arms. “I’d be more inclined to think she’s taking an excuse and running with it.”

The Twinrova looked suspicious, and Daltus suddenly nervous. “Excuse?”

“She doesn’t like it here. That much is very obvious to me.”

Daltus mopped his sweaty brow. “Give her time, she’s barely been here long enough to form an opinion! Surely you can’t think this is some snub-”

“That’s exactly what I think.” Ganondorf interrupted, frowning at the Hylian King. “She finds this whole affair unpleasant in the extreme, and she wishes to end it.”

“She doesn’t-”

“King Daltus, I’ve no wish to insult you or your daughter, but I am no fool. I know distaste when I see it.”

Daltus nodded, now looking annoyed. “I comprehend you perfectly. If you will both excuse me, I will go and speak to her.”

Ganondorf was silent as King Daltus made his bow to the Twinrova, and once the Hylian had exited the room, he sank down in the chair opposite his mothers, who raised a brow at him.

“What did you say to insult her?” They asked.

Ganondorf rolled his eyes. “I took her to Nabooru’s, and the princess was holding Iloru. She looked so uncomfortable holding the child – she’s never held a child before, apparently – I made a joke about her own lack of children. Somehow she took that as an insult.”

The Twinrova sighed. “Honestly, Ganondorf. Where is your mind at today?”

He shrugged then narrowed his eyes. “Well… if I’d know that she was coming, and more to the point, that we are _pretty much betrothed_ , I might have had more composure.”

His mothers looked a tad guilty at that. “We know we didn’t tell you.” They said, sitting back down at their desk. “But we had good reason.”

Ganondorf raised a brow, waiting.

“We thought you might react – _unfavourably_ – to the idea of a union with the princess.”

He nodded in understanding. “So you thought you’d spring her on me before I could find someway to object.”

“Exactly.” They said, then sighed. “But you’ve managed to make a mess of things anyway.”

Ganondorf bristled. “That was _not_ my fault. She’s prickly, haughty and _far_ too easily offended. _She’s_ the impossible one, not me.”

“Well you’d best figure out how to get through to her.” The Twinrova said, sounding unimpressed. “Because King Daltus and I are nearly at an agreement, and we can’t afford to spurn an offer of peace. You’re in all probability going to have to marry her.”

Ganondorf swore under his breath, then turned on his heel and stalked off. Marry the Princess of Hyrule? Spend his days in intimacy with that annoying, stuffy, stuck up little snip who _clearly_ thought she was better than him? She’d be worse than a cold fish in bed, and that he found the idea of that deplorable. _How_ could his mothers do this to him? True, he’d barely known the princess for half a day, but when it came to the thought of _marrying_ her, Ganondorf was perfectly ready to declare that he’d _happily_ die first.


	2. Coming to Blows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drunken Ganondorf decides to play a prank on his bride-to-be, but doesn't reckon on being the one to come away with an injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to gerudoshikyapril.tumblr.com, who provided the Gerudo Language used in this fic!

Princess Zelda had been in the desert for a fortnight, and Ganondorf was thoroughly sick of her. Everyday he woke up and basked in the brief few seconds where he’d forgotten his _fiancé_ was here, and then the depressing reality set in once more.

“Do you know what she said today?” He asked Nabooru sourly, taking another sip of grog. He, Nabooru, and a large group of his other sisters had been engaged in a round of social drinking that evening, and they were all fairly tipsy.

“What?” Slurred Nabooru, shaking her empty glass over her tongue to catch the last empty drop.

“She said, she hopes I don’t expect children anytime soon.” He gestured with his cup, sloshing grog over his fingers. “She’s so… so…”

“She needs a good dose of reality.” Nabooru got out after two tries.

“Mmm.” Ganondorf nodded emphatically. “She does.”

“She can’t be the pampered princess out here.” Someone else called; he didn’t see who, but he nodded harder.

“Right! She’s so stuck up.” He muttered irritably. Ganondorf had _tried_ to be nice to her, but she didn’t seem to like that. She didn’t like anything much. If he was serious, she ignored him. If he tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood, she implied he was childish. If he paid too much attention to her, she got pointy and sharp and told him to stay away from her. If he ignored her, she said he was rude and uncivil. Zelda was the single most impossible creature he’d ever met, and he had no idea how he was supposed to treat her.

“Hey… you know what’d be funny…?” Tinev said slowly, leaning forwards with a bright light shining in her eyes. “If we showed her what her prissy attitude will get her if she doesn’t pull that stick out of her arse.”

This sounded like a great idea, and they all began to plot.

 

* * *

 

 Zelda was sleeping peacefully, and by that, she’d have meant fitfully. The desert was so dreadfully hot during the daytime, and quite chilly at night. She didn’t know what to make of it, and her body didn’t either. The extreme temperature swings were going to make her sick, she was sure of it, and that was a discussion she had frequently with her ladies in waiting, who were both of the same opinion.

She was asleep now, and due to her tiredness from tossing and turning for hours, she didn’t notice when several intruders crept into her room and rolled her gently onto a blanket, which was used as a stretcher to carry her from her chambers. Zelda continued to sleep even as she was placed on the ground outside and a woman with a horn shuffled over to kneel right by her ear, taking a deep breath as she prepared to blow.

When the horn sounded right in her ear, Zelda jumped a foot in the air with a shriek, lurching to her feet only to have a deluge of water go cascading over her head. It ran into her nose, eyes and mouth, and she tipped backwards, coughing and spluttering, and tripped on the bunched up blanket under her feet. She fell to her knees, muddy water splashing up from her impact, and she knelt there, fingers splayed in the filthy puddle for a few moments while she collected her wits to her. Slowly, Zelda raised her head to the sound of raucous, drunken laughter, and she stood up carefully, her white nightgown drenched in muddy water, her curls half flattened by liquid, mud dripping from her fingers.

She counted maybe eleven Gerudo, and then – she spied the prince as he and Nabooru propped each other up from laughing too hard, bottles of alcohol clutched in their hands.

“Have a nice _trip_ , Princess?” One of the women called out, and Zelda ignored her as the laughing grew louder. Ganondorf detached himself from Nabooru and staggered towards her – her eyes narrowed as she realised just how drunk he was.

“Ah, Princess-” He slurred, and she spoke right over the top of him.

“You’re _drunk_.” She said severely, stating the obvious. Zelda folded her arms over her breasts as she noticed the direction of his gaze – worse, she realised the water soaking her fine muslin nightgown had turned the fabric transparent.

“We certainly are!” He crowed, to raucous laughter.

Zelda’s eyes narrowed further. How _dare_ he humiliate her in this fashion! It was reprehensible – he was a priggish, ill-bred, bad-mannered, _awful_ man. Knowing exactly what she wanted to do – so much her palms itched with it – Zelda sauntered very casually towards him.

Ganondorf grinned at Zelda as she approached, her mud splattered face cold and quite scary looking. “You disapprove, Princess?” He slurred, waving his bottle at her.

“Yes.” She replied very clearly, face pinched tight with anger. He could practically see it crackling down her hair. “And you know what? I think your _mothers’_ do too.”

Her gaze slid over his shoulder, and Ganondorf’s heart dropped down to his toes. If his mothers’ had seen this… he’d be in such deep shit he’d be shovelling for a century just to see the light. He quickly twisted around to see, and in his drunken state, he spent far too long being confused as to why he couldn’t see the Twinrova, when something hard impacted on the side of his knee, making him buckle. A half second later and another blow to his gut made him double over, and then a foot swept at his ankle, making him drop almost to the ground. Reflexes dulled, Ganondorf barely looked up in time to see Zelda’s furious face as her elbow smashed into his nose, knocking him completely onto his back. He blinked up at the stars, utterly stupefied as the rapidly emptying bottle of grog lying beside him soaked into his trousers and pain spiralled out from his nose as a hot burst of blood spurted out over his fingers.

Ganondorf sat up as his sisters began dropping to their knees beside him, and he saw Zelda stalking away, her fists clenched by her side, anger clearly radiating off her.

“Did you _see_ that?” Asked someone in obvious shock, and Nabooru was clearly on the verge of laughter as she tugged his hand from his face, which was now in a good deal of pain. She poked him and agony splintered through his nose and he pulled back to glare at her.

“How the _fuck_ -” He got out before Nabs interrupted.

“It’s broken, little brother.” She said with an obviously amused grin. “Come, we gotta get it reset.”

“She _flattened_ me.” Ganondorf got out in awe as he stood up, still holding his nose as blood dripped down his bare chest. “ _Zelda_ did. How…?”

“I don’t know, _Éri_ , but it was amazing.” Said Zinare, laughter in her tone, and then the dam broke as his sisters started laughing at him.

 

* * *

 

The following morning, Zelda entered the eating hall as though nothing was wrong. She could feel many eyes on her back, and merely lifted her chin higher. She was perfectly in the right, after all; after that little stunt last night, Ganondorf deserved what he’d gotten. He wasn’t at breakfast yet, which pleased her. It enabled her to sit down at the Twinrova’s table (she noted that they were in their separate forms today) and begin eating. She sat on her father’s right hand side and chattered carelessly away to him until the moment she’d been waiting for arrived; Ganondorf entered the building. His nose was swollen and splinted, and she could see a large cut right over the bridge of his nose, which had been packed in salve. Zelda barely hid a snicker in her serviette.

He sat down across from her, probably just to prove a point, and began to serve himself breakfast, his expression black.

“What happened to you?” Asked Koume, brows raised, and Ganondorf’s gaze met hers for a brief second.

“Nabs and I were sparring last night.” He said finally, voice sour, and Zelda felt pure relief at his lie. “It got a bit out of hand.”

Kotake shook her head as Zelda watched on in glee.

“Honestly.” The old witch said with a shake of the head. “You two mustn’t be so _rough_ with each other all the time.”

“Is it a good break?” Asked Daltus, and Zelda barely stifled her giggle. _It was,_ she felt like saying. _A very good break._ “That is, will it heal well?”

“I think so.” Ganondorf said shortly. “It’s just painful now.”

His eyes met hers briefly, a crackle of anger deep in those golden depths, and she smiled behind her serviette, taking a few moments to compose herself before continuing her meal.

“What have you planned today, Ganon?” Asked Koume, and Zelda smiled to herself as the prince frowned.

“I was _going_ to participate in the sparring match on today.” He said, his tone annoyed. “But I suppose I’ve been reduced to spectating now.”

“Ah, then Zelda, you might wish to accompany the prince?”

Zelda smiled broadly at that; her father and the Twinrova were quickly becoming resigned to the fact that she and Ganondorf didn’t get along, but she could tell her father still held a sliver of hope.

“I’d very pleased to, Papa.” She replied, getting looks of open surprise from Daltus and the Twinrova, and one of deep suspicion from the Gerudo prince. “After all… who doesn’t love a good spar?”

Ganondorf was definitely glowering at her now, she could feel it.

After breakfast, Zelda went outside and waited by the door, deliberately not turning around until the angry presence she could sense behind her spoke.

“I’m sure you’re very pleased with yourself.”

“ _Exceptionally_.” She replied, and turned to look up at Ganondorf as he fell into step beside her and offered his arm. Zelda slipped her fingers into the crook of his elbow and smiled brightly up at him as he glared.

“Does it hurt much?”

This was met with a disgusted sigh. “You broke my nose. How do you _think_ it feels?”

She grinned wider. “That’s what you get for your little _trick_.”

He scowled. “It was a mere prank, Princess! It didn’t do you any harm.”

Zelda glared up at him. “Prank or not, it wasn’t a pleasant way to be woken up, and I am a guest here! Not only that, but your fiancé! Well.” She amended. “Hopefully not for too much longer.”

“Then you’ll go back to Hyrule and I won’t have to see hide nor bloody stupid hair of you ever again.” He snapped. “I can’t _wait_.”

“Neither can I.” She shot back, and they glared at each other for a long moment, and then Zelda sighed in displeasure at the most unpleasant task she knew she now had to undertake.

“Ganondorf.” She said in her most business like manner. “I won’t pretend I’m not enjoying myself immensely, but I must apologise to you anyway.”

There was a short pause and he turned to her, brows raised. “Must you?”

“Yes.” Zelda ploughed on, etiquette moving her tongue for her. “I might have been terribly angry, and rightfully so, but I’d less right to hit you like that, _particularly_ seeing as I’ve broken your nose.”

There was a slight pause. “You’ve bruised my ribs too.” He said in a wounded tone. “But I didn’t think you’d apologise, so… thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She said quietly.

“So, are you going to tell me exactly how the prissy little Princess of Hyrule knows how to hit someone like that?” He asked, voice both irritated and reluctantly impressed. “I’d have been impressed had you taken down a regular sized man, let alone _me_.”

“You _were_ drunk.” She reminded him. “And it’s not so hard to cut a man down to size.”

“You’ve been trained.” Ganondorf said, a frown in his tone. “By whom? And why?”

“By my nursemaid, for my own protection.”

There was a short silence. “Your nursemaid.” He said sceptically. “Forgive me, but I fail to see how a _Hylian nursemaid_ is adept in any sort of physical skill.”

“Impa is not Hylian. She is a Sheikah.”

There was a longer silence. “I see.” Ganondorf said finally. “And you can fight?”

“I can.” Zelda smiled up at him. “But you see, the courts look down on this sort of behaviour in a woman, and I’m a princess. They’d disapprove entirely, and my reputation would suffer cruelly. It’s for that reason I train in secret, clad in Sheikah garb to conceal my identity.”

Ganondorf was frowning. “Doesn’t that annoy you?” He inquired. “To have to keep it secret for so superficial a reason?”

“When I was younger it did. I was a little more foolhardy then, and I wanted to confront the nobles myself and see how far they got. But I’ve grown up since then. I see the wisdom in concealing the extent of my skills – it means I can protect myself and survive on my own if needed, all the while maintaining my reputation as the perfect polished princess – and it means my foes underestimate me. That is worth a good deal more to me now than proving that I’m made of more than glass.”

“There is wisdom in your words, Princess.” Ganondorf said slowly. “Which of course is to be expected.” He paused slightly. “I too, must apologise. It was a cruel trick to wake you like that; my only defence is that we were all drunk, and well, everything seems funny when you’re drunk.”

“I’m well aware.” Zelda said; she was in such a good mood from having broken his nose she was forgetting to argue with him. “But thank you. Seeing as we’re both in the wrong, shall we agree to bury this?”

“Just as soon as my nose is healed, it’ll be forgotten.” He muttered, voice sour, and Zelda couldn’t help her snigger at that as they walked together towards the training grounds.

Ganondorf sat in a contemplative silence while watching several of his sisters sparring; while he’d normally be right in the thick of things, today his mind was on the princess. She had just pulled back a layer and revealed something about her that she kept concealed from the world, and that bothered him. It wasn’t the fact that she’d broken his nose that was irritating; no, he respected a woman who could fight, and Zelda had brought him to his knees – he respected her more now, he found – but it was the fact that she’d hidden her abilities so _well_. He hadn’t had the slightest clue that she could fight. Ganondorf’s gaze slid towards her; she was sitting a little way away from him, watching the match, her blonde hair arranged in perfect curls even though the water from last night had ruined them. Once, he’d have thought she was entirely too put together and prissy to know how to fight, but now… she’d mentioned seeing the wisdom in letting people underestimate her. Now, Ganondorf realised that he had done exactly that, and if he was going to marry her (the wedding _was_ technically still on), he wanted to find out just what else she was hiding.


End file.
